“Always look polished.” “Never admit a weakness.” “Spin to get the deal.”
Have you ever heard a “sales thought leader” pontificate along these lines. I have.
It doesn’t work. Because saying what sounds good instead of saying what’s so…breaks down trust.
It’s inauthentic.
And authenticity and trust are inseparable.
This is a personal story about Krista Ronai, a personal friend I had the good fortune of hiring and working with during my tenure as a manager at Boise Cascade/OfficeMax. A concentrated dose of reality, this story demonstrates the power of authenticity in trust building.
Rising Stars
Krista married Jason Ronai, they bought a townhouse in Annapolis, and started ascending in their respective careers. Jason was an assistant baseball coach, teacher, and officer at the US Naval Academy; Krista, was recognized as the Sales Leader of the Year, the last two consecutive years among her peers at OfficeMax.
On January 28 of this year, the couple’s prayers for a family addition were answered when their daughter, Anna Mae, arrived.
Tragedy Strikes
Then everything changed.
What began as several episodes of a strong “chemical smell” that awoke her during sleep just weeks before giving birth to Anna, proved cause for alarm during labor when Krista experienced her first wide-awake seizure.
Tragically, the radiology reports later confirmed that Krista, 28 and a new mom, had a low grade Glioma, an incurable form of brain cancer. A tumor the size of an orange grew like weeds grow through grass inside of her brain.
Krista and her steadfast husband Jason, in collaboration with, Dr. Alessandro Olivi, a world renowned neurosurgeon and Chair of Neurosurgery at Johns Hopkins, decided to delay surgery and attempt to control the seizures through medication.
Unfortunately, this past May, less than five short months following little Anna’s birth, Krista’s seizures escalated to eight or nine times per day; her headaches and dizziness became more frequent. She was no longer capable of driving or able to care for their daughter independently.
A Life and Death Decision
Krista and her family now faced the biggest decision of her life – whether or not to have the tumor surgically removed from her brain. This time, Krista’s dad, Al Kares joined Jason and Krista to see Dr. Olivi. A flat-out skeptic of modern medicine, Mr. Kares preferred a holistic approach to extend Krista’s life.
After reviewing the X-Rays, MRI’s, blood work, and other medical tests, all the data pointed to proceeding with this high risk surgery.
Dr. Olivi confirmed that without surgery, the cancer would most likely steal her bodily functions in a sort of slow motion paralysis throughout her body.
On the other hand, the risks of this type of surgery, even for an otherwise healthy young woman, would cause most of us to shutter. To complicate the decision, the surgery could have actually made things worse. By invading the brain tissue, the cancer could turn aggressive.
Doctor to Dad
The room became silent as all four pondered the impossible choice.
Finally, Mr. Kares asked Dr. Olivi, “What would you do if she was your daughter?”
It was THE right question.
What this steely veteran world-class physician did next surprised everyone.
After a long pause that momentarily caused the world to stand still, his eyes welled up. The room grew silent. Dr. Olivi resisted tears, “you didn’t know this but I have a daughter exactly Krista’s age. If Krista was my daughter, I would do the surgery.”
With that, Krista, Jason, and Mr. Kares swelled up with tears too.
Clarity. At least about this decision.
In that moment of truth, Dr. Olivi transformed from the doctor behind the white lab coat to someone’s dad. He was one father…utterly authentic with another father. That authenticity instilled the ultimate trust… enough trust put to his daughter’s life in Dr. Olivi’s hands.
Dr. Olivi could have followed the hospital’s risk management playbook designed to mitigate malpractice liability; he could have quoted statistics, percentages, and probabilities. He could have de-personalized what was a very human moment. Instead he was authentic. His authenticity gave Krista and her family comfort in their decision regardless of the outcome.
Gifted Hands
Dr. Olivi successfully removed 70% of the tumor that invaded Krista’s brain tissue. Mission accomplished.
During surgery, Dr. Olivi confirmed that Krista’s tumor was, in fact, a grade 3, highly aggressive glioma. She would begin “chemiation” in the ensuing weeks.
While her valiant battle against cancer marches on, Krista’s seizures only frequent her a handful of times per month.
Moments of Truth
If you think about it, you experience moments of truth all the time in relationships.
You’re faced with a choice of whether to say what sounds good to benefit you or what will build trust, even if it may come at your own expense.
The question is -will you be authentic?
The paradox is that if we take the risk to be authentic instead of spinning the result in our direction, the more we build trust – with clients, with friends, and with patients.
Authenticity and trust are inseparable.
______________________________
Personal note:
Jason and Krista have been sharing their remarkable story on http://www.caringbridge.com/visit/kristaronai. She’s now going through her second round of chemotherapy. I encourage you to read about their incredible story of Faith and courage and share your thoughts and prayers.
Some photos of their incredible journey:
Krista's Honeymoon
Krista, Jason, and Anna 2 weeks after surgery: Krista was Matron of Honor at her sister Keri's wedding
Krista and Anna "Banana"- Halloween 2009
Jason, Krista, and Anna after first round of radiation completed
Posted November 1, 2009
Growing Your Business Through Trusted Relationships
REGISTRATION STATUS: OPEN
| Date: | Friday, December 04, 2009 |
| Time: | 1:00pm – 5:00pm (Registration at 12:30pm) |
| Facility: | Wealth Advocacy Partners, Sparks |
| CPE Credit: | 4 Communications |
| Course Type: | Seminars |
| Provider: | Business Learning Institute |
| Instructor: | Mark Slatin |
| Field of Study: | Communications |
| Level of Knowledge: | Basic |
| Fees: | $175 MACPA Members, $175 Non-Members |
* * * IMPORTANT INFORMATION ABOUT THIS EVENT * * *
Watch Mark in Action in this 2 minute video!
You may register for one or for all sessions.
Click here to add this event to your electronic calendar (then click OPEN when prompted).
Description:
Let’s be honest, “sell” is a four letter word to most service professionals. Yet, getting a book of business is no longer an option, it’s an expectation. The paradox in selling is the less we work to close sales and the more we focus on building the relationship, the more success we’ll enjoy. Trust Centered Selling acknowledges the stigma attached to selling and reframes the stereotypes that have created an invisible wall of distrust between buyers and sellers. In this course, you learn the components that underpin trust between buyers and sellers to learn the basics to build trusting relationships.
Objectives:
- Understand why trust the most important factor in long-term business development results
- Recognize what clients are really looking for in a service professional
- Learn what high trust translates into business growth
- Discover how to turn average clients into apostles
- Develop new mindsets as well as skillsets
Major Topics:
- What are the real barriers to selling success
- The Financial Impact of Trust: Why trust is critical to attract and retain clients
- Recognize the four essential elements of trust, and boost your personal score on each
- How understanding the relationship between client loyalty and profitability can accelerate your business development efforts
Who Should Attend:
Anyone who sells complex products or services in a relationship context, including accounting, financial, insurance, real estate, distribution, manufacturing, supplies, legal, healthcare, pharmaceutical, IT services and other areas
Prerequisite:
None
Comments Off« Older Posts — | Newer Posts »Posted October 12, 2009
Jamie Nast’s new book Idea Mapping caught my attention at the Columbia, MD Borders Bookstore. Introduced to mind mapping in grad school, I drifted away from using it as a tool to brainstorm and take notes. The subtitle hooked me on a second try, “Access Your Hidden Brain Power, Learn Faster, Remember More, and Achieve Success in Business.”
People have told me that I must have a lot of hidden brain power. I was never quite sure how to take that? : )
Seriously, I’ve started “idea mapping” again and use it for everything from note taking to speech planning.
Her book, complete with a Mindjet Mindmanager CD included, was a huge boost in my ability to harness frayed thoughts and execute on untapped ideas.
I emailed Jamie with my compliments on her gift to someone like me whose best thoughts seem to escape without capture.
Jamie was kind enough to feature me on her IdeaMapping blog today. She included an idea map I did in Freemind (free and open source) of the True Colors Consulting services delivery model.
The beauty is ANYONE can do it and you don’t need software. It’s so simple, you can do it on the back of a napkin.
Jamie hits the heart of the problem, “When asked to perform an unfamiliar task, an untrained brain will search for a solution by going to multiple parts of the brain seeking answers (and often not finding them) and is therefore inefficient.”
She says, “Training your brain to learn more effectively will have an enormous impact on your overall efficiency. For a trained brain, learning requires less brain activity, while the performance outcome increases multiple times over.”
I like anything that requires less brain activity and produces greater results.
Check it out and let me know what you think!
Posted October 6, 2009
By True Colors Consulting LLC
Dated: Oct 06, 2009
True Colors and Trusted Advisor Associates announced today that True Colors has become a licensee of Trusted Advisor Associates to offer TAA programs.
BALTIMORE – True Colors Consulting and Trusted Advisor Associates announced today that True Colors has become a licensee of Trusted Advisor Associates to offer TAA programs.
Click here to read the release
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